Holiday confections: Moon Drops

A few years ago, my friend brought me something she called, "Luna Balls." Now, being a freak of nature and all, I am not super into sugary, bready sweet things, and only rarely am in the mood for some sweet treats. But I have learned that people get offended when you demure from proffered confectioneries. So I accepted it. And was blown away at how much I enjoyed it. 

Since then I have tried to recreate it, and for this Valentine's Day, I think I have hit the mark. These are fairly "healthy," at least, as healthy as sweets can potentially be! Oatmeal, nuts, coconut oil, honey and almond butter make up the bulk of this wonderful treat, and you can boost the good-for-you quotient by adding some flax, dried fruits, or even chia seeds! 

 This smallish batch makes about 13 TB sized balls (heaping TB by the way) but you can double the recipe for 26. This size is just perfect for me, enough that I can eat a few, and share the rest with good friends.

 Moon Drops      
1/2 cup almond butter  
1/4 cup honey  
3 TB coconut oil 
1/2 cup oatmeal  1/2 cup coconut flakes 
1/4 cup chopped up nuts (walnuts are great) 
1/2 tsp vanilla 
1/2 tsp cinnamon 
1/2 tsp cardamom

optional:
1/4 cup additional items: dried cranberries, chopped dried figs, dates (or really any dried fruit), chocolate chips or cacao nibs for chocolate lovers (you can also dip/roll these in cocoa powder, or just add a few tablespoons of it to the mixture!)

for a healthy boost:
2 TB chia seeds, sesame seeds, or flax seeds

 Small batch makes about 13 TB sized balls (heaping TB by the way) but you can double the recipe for 26. This size is just perfect for me, enough that I can eat a few, and share the rest with good friends. 



Heat the almond butter, honey, and coconut oil in a saucepan on low until melted. Mix until very  well incorporated and then kill the heat. Measure and stir in the remaining ingredients, still stirring vigorously.

Stir till your arm is about to fall off,  and then drop onto waxed paper covered cookie sheets by the tablespoon. Place in the fridge (or outside if wintertime) until they begin to harden. This will take an hour or so.

Now you can leave them as blob shapes, or form them into nice balls. Or penises. Or boobs. Or something more mature.

Why I hate anything that involves the word detox, without the additional words: drug test.

Detox Popsicles

I honestly have no idea why we fatass Americans seem to be so incredibly angered by the very concept of low-fat or healthy eating, but seem strangely attracted to the extremely scientifically *unverified* concepts behind detoxing. Or enemas, or homeopathic whatever.  On the one hand, I totally get it. We're pissed off at decades of prepackaged food, medication at the drop of a hat, and all the dumb, plastic Westernized quick-fixes and consumerist bullshit. Yeah, it sucks. But so do charlatans and snake-oil salesmen.

And that is precisely what these detox, enema, and homeopathic purveyors are made of. The fad of detox bullshit stems from a fundamental misunderstanding of how the human body works, and how the liver and kidneys function. (Hint: they are the body's "organic" detox systems, you fucking ignorant asshole.)

One comment from quackwatch.org really stuck with me all these years, it was something to the effect of,  "If the human body were truly incapable of ridding itself of harmful wastes, humans would have gone extinct a very long time ago."

http://www.quackwatch.org/01QuackeryRelatedTopics/detox_overview.html

That's a nice, succinct read on why these things are bullshit. But honestly, these all stem from a misuse of the word toxin, and a fundamental belief in human stupidity. There's a large difference between a heroin or alcohol addict going through detox, and what you think you're doing by drinking strawberry lemon kale smoothies. One involves shaking uncontrollably, vomiting, and shitting yourself. The other involves massive amounts of self-delusion and gullibility.

Honestly, some of these detox ideas, like the fruit filled smoothies, or the diets that promote taking a few days or weeks to eat more fruits and veggies, drink more water, and limit sugar, dairy and sodium are not bad to do! My gripe is that they are promoted as ridding the body of toxins and shit. Yes, you're going to feel better. Yes it is good for you. But it is something that should be promoted as an essential part of a healthy lifestyle that we should be doing anyway, dammit. Not doing for a few days every once in a while to cure myriad ailments that probably wouldn't be occurring if you ate that way all the damn time.

 

Canascione mutha fucka!

New Recipe Development!

In my internet perusings on this chilling day of being bundled up indoors while the first snow of the season rages on around me, I stumbled upon an exciting Italian dish I've never heard of: canascione! I'm more familiar with Northern Italian cooking from the Venezia area, from whence my step-mother's family hailed.

Anyway, there are very few English recipes on the internet at this point, and some interesting variations, so I thought I'd customize it for my tastes. Traditionally this is served mainly at Easter, or Pasqua, and sometimes on Christmas (Natale). So, I might just make it on x-mas day. We'll see.

I'd like to preface this by saying that I sort of hate calzone, but have high hopes for this. I'd much rather have a pizza, but then I'm not super into sweets, or overly bready things. Give me my cheese, veg and meat undiluted, you heathens! Anyway, canascione is basically a calzone type of affair: a turnover made of egg dough, rolled into a circle, filled with eggs, sausage of various types (prosciutto being the one I'm most excited about), fancy sundry cheeses, or other things I'm less interested in, like greens, olives, and so forth. Now, this is just me talking about it, and planning out my strategy, so the actual tested recipe won't be posted till after Christmas (not that it matters, since no one reads this).

Egg dough: about 1 medium egg for each cup of flour, and 1-2 TB oil for each cup, a bit of salt.

Make dough, roll it out, fill with prosciutto, hams, cheeses (asiago, mahon, havarti, hmmm), try one with a scrambled egg mixture and sausage inside, one with just cheese and prosciutto, and maybe one with an experimental filling.

Bake 

G+ delightfulness

E L Weems4:03 PM

Love is most definitely a choice. It is an action, not an emotion. You love someone by making a series of decisions to place that person and that person's needs as paramount in your life. You may feel a connection emotionally to them, you may identify with them, you may feel lust... and these feelings may wane from time to time and then come back. It is the decision to love that sustains a relationship. This is why people run and get divorced the second they stop lusting after someone. Fairy tales are for children.

 

I really enjoyed that quote. 

Bitters: Thoughts and Speculations

Making your own bitters!

This is an absolutely fantastic guide, but I decided to also do some further research:
http://www.adventures-in-cooking.com/2012/11/diy-bitters-part-i.html

An even more comprehensive guide:
http://spiritsandcocktails.wordpress.com/2008/04/22/how-to-make-bitters/


Agnostura bitters are evidently primarily flavored with gentian, a bitter herb I have never heard of before.

Lists from old timey times have listed wormwood leaves, goldenseal rhizome, blesses thistle leaves, yarrow flowers, angelica, and bitter orange peel as other common bitters ingredients.

As I have learned, there are three basic components: the bitter herb, the flavor, the base. Or, as Mountain Rose puts it: Essentially, bitters contain three flavor components: a dried bitter root or bark, dried fruits or vegetables, and dried spices or herbs.


List of bitter herbs:

Wormwood, quassia bark, gentian root, fenugreek, yarrow flowers, orris root, dandelion leaves,

Mildly bitter:
Chamomile, mint, chicory, horehound, rue.

List from website of bitter blend for cherry bitters: rose petal, burdock, milk thistle, dandelion, apple, barberry, fennel, fringe tree.

Fruit stuffs:
Lemon, lime, orange, grapefruit, pear, apple,  blueberry, cranberry, celery, chiles, 

Some nice spices:
Clove, cinnamon, vanilla, allspice, star anise, peppercorn, ginger, nutmeg, cardamom,

Winter Lips Sugar Scrub

                                                               Cat computer: unrelated

This isn't an eating type recipe, but since it is made with edible ingredients, I figured it was appropriate. My skin gets terribly, terribly dry in the winter months, and it is especially taxing on my large lips.

I don't know how it happened, but I woke up one morning with very chapped lips. All day long, I felt like I was slathering them with balm every 5 minutes, but they wouldn't stop being terribly dry! I pounded water over the next few days, and continued lubing them regularly, but it was already too late. They were getting snake skin levels of annoying. Then I remembered a delicious sugar scrub I had made for a friend a few winters ago and decided to try to whip some up. And improve upon it!

The original recipe called for sugar, grapeseed oil, vitamin e, and red food coloring. I added grapefruit essential oil, and it was absolutely heavenly. I used a little bit before I sent it away, but then forgot all about it. Until now.

So this time, I had some Almond oil on hand, and also honey! I messed around with proportions for a while, but I think this one is the winner. I like to make them in small batches that I will use up in a few weeks, so as to not worry about mold or going bad, what with the lack of preservatives and all.

Winter Lips Sugar Scrub
2 tsp white sugar
1 tsp honey
1 tsp almond oil (or grapeseed, which has a lot of vitamin e also, or even olive oil)
1 vitamin e capsule (or just skip, it's fine)
3 drops essential oil of your choice (I like grapefruit, lemon, orange, lavender, or vanilla)

Mix all these together in a small container: a baby food jar works well, or even a bowl with cling wrap over the top! If you so desire, add a drop of food coloring. Red was nice, and added to the grapefruity effect, but blue or green would be kinda cool too. Ooooo, or purple!

Green Goddess Pasta Salad with chicken! ***

Dressing:
1/2 cup mayo
1/2 cup sour cream                  *basil, oregano, chives, parsley
1/4 cup parsley
1/4 cup basil leaves
3-4 scallions
4 cloves garlic

2 TB lime juice
1 tsp fish sauce
1 tsp worcestershire
1/2 tsp salt
1/4 tsp pepper


1/2 lb chicken
4-8 oz pasta

1 stalk celery, minced
1 poblano, minced
1/2 cup sweet peppers, minced
1/4 cup tomatoes, diced
1 /4 cup carrot, shredded or finely minced
3 scallions, sliced
more garlic, always more garlic


Working on recipe via iPad. It's a bitch.

Blueberry Greyhounds: Drank of the Gods

It's no secret that my all time, most beloved, very favorite drink is the Greyhound (unless I'm seriously needing to feel like I'm on vaca in the tropics and then it's Dark and Stormy ftw) and I didn't think you could ever improve on such greatness. Until my boyfriend made me a blueberry Greyhound. It's ridiculously good.

So let's start by soaking about 1/2 a container of blueberries in about 4 cups of vodka. Squeeze the blueberries with your fingers as you drop them into whatever container you might be inclined to use, and let them soak for a few days to a week.

If you want it RIGHT NOW, then just muddle-squish the blueberries into a glass with 2 oz of vodka, add some ice, then pour in your grapefruit juice to fill a pint glass. I like to use a ratio of 2/8 oz vodka/juice or even stronger, but then I am a problem drinker, so there's that.

As you can see, the blueberries color the juice a gorgeous magenta, and make it unbelievably yummy!

Quinoa Tabbouleh and Pork Taquitos

 So these two dishes don't so much go together (though they potentially could, you crazy cats) but the iPad wouldn't let me post a new post, so I threw my Failure Taquitos right into this post. I call them failure taquitos because I followed a recipe that used cream cheese inside the taquitos, against my better judgement.

Because I'm a precocious little scamp, I heavily modified the recipe anyway and changed the filling, which was originally boiled, shredded chicken, cheese, cream cheese, and a chipotle ranch filling inside some tortillas, with the same chipotle ranch on the side. Gross. What? Why is it on the inside, if you're gonna slather it on the outside as well. And there's not like a single veggie in that bitch. And we know how much I hate that. Go on, eat some fucking bacon, but at least throw in some spinach and tomatoes or something. What are we, Americans? Anyway, I choose to do a quick/easy marinade for the meat, saute it with some veggies, but then I still used the goddamn cream cheese. Oh well, at least I tried it. And it was good, not great. The cream cheese was gross, and so I tried it again after I got over my initial disappointment failure, but without the cream cheese, and it was soooooooo good.

Here's one of my very favorite, super healthy recipes before we move onto the failure taquitos. 

Quinoa Tabbouleh
1 cup tomatoes, chopped
1 cup cucumber, chopped
3 cloves garlic, minced
4 green onions, sliced
1/3 cup parsley, chopped
1/4 cup mint, chopped 
1 jalapeño, minced
3 TB olive oil
1 TB lemon or lime juice
Salt and pepper, pinch and a dash


1 cup quinoa
2 cups water

1. Boil the water. Once it boils, stir in the quinoa, reduce to low heat and cover for 12-15 minutes. Remove lid a fluff.

2. Meanwhile, chop up your veggies, and mix them all together. Whist together the olive oil, lemon juice, and salt and pepper.

3. Let quinoa cool for about 20 minutes, and then toss everything together.



Failure Pork Taquitos:
Serves 4

1/2 lb pork tenderloin, or thinly pounded chops
1/2 cup beer
1/2 lime, juiced
3TB olive oil, or sunflower oil

1 tsp paprika
1 tsp cumin
1/4 tsp salt
1/8 tsp sugar
1/2 tsp black pepper

4 green onion, sliced
3-4 cloves garlic, minced
1/4 - 1/2 cup peppers,  hot or sweet, depending on your heat tolerance, minced
1/4 cup tomatoes, chopped

1/4 cup cilantro, chopped up (divided, save half for dipping sauce)
2 small chipotle peppers in adobo
1 cup shredded cheese, any old Mexican blend is great
1TB chili powder
1/4 tsp salt

6 inch flour or corn tortillas (I used flour)

1. Mix beer, lime juice, and olive oil and marinate pork for 30 minutes - 2 hours.

2. You could perhaps use this opportunity to chop up your veggies, and compile them on some plates or something to be prepared for later.

3. Heat a large cast iron skillet with 2 TB olive oil. Sauté green onion, garlic, and peppers on medium heat until softened, about 3-5 minutes. Add tomatoes in the last minute or so of cooking. Move to outer edges of the pan, to make enough room to cook the pork. If your pan isn't big enough to do this, just remove the veggies to a bowl, and cook the pork separately.

4. Mix the spices together: paprika, cumin, salt, sugar, and black pepper. Drain the pork, coat with spice mixture, and pan fry for about 3 minutes on each side at medium/medium high. Cut into very think strips, or 1/4 inch cubes, your choice. Both are nice.

5.  Stir together the meat and veggies with the cilantro, chipotle peppers, cheese, chili powder and salt. Use about 2 TB filling to each tortilla, roll up and place seam side down onto a greased baking pan.

6. Cook at 425 for 15- 20 minutes, or until browned and warmed through.

You can also freeze these, but you'll need to up the cooking  time by ten minutes or so.

Trinidadian Hot Sauce

 One of my all time favorite cookbooks is Get Saucy!, a veritable sauce-Bible of much awesomeness. As an example of its greatness this Trinidadian hot sauce is the bees' knees! I really only made a few small changes, not enough to call it my own. It is an excellent way to use up all those habaneros you grew with stars in your eyes only to watch them rotting on the vine come fall as your mouth burns with from your attempts to include them in everyday cooking.

Trinidadian Hot Sauce!

6 habaneros
1 m carrot, cut up
7-10 cloves of garlic
4 scallions, chopped
1/4 cup fresh flat parsley leaves
2 T fresh thyme leaves
1 T oregano or cilantro
1/3 cup white vinegar
3-4 TB prepared yellow mustard
1T fresh lime juice
1/2 tsp salt

Throw all this into blender and mix it up. 

Stuffed Zucchini (maybe also peppers)

For some reason, in the late summer, I get this overwhelming urge to make stuffed EVERYTHING. Stuffed chicken, stuffed pork, stuffed peppers, and even empanadas! But I've never tried stuffed zucchini for some insane reason. So one balmy night of irrepressible desire, I decided it was high time. And it was fucking great.

Stuffed Zucchini? And peppers?

1 minced shallot
1/4 cup chopped onion
4 cloves garlic
1/4 cup chopped tomato
1 minced poblano pepper
1 cup minced zucchini
salt and pepper, paprika, coriander
1/2 cup Quark cheese for filling (or a lighter goat cheese, chevre or even cream cheese perhaps)
White aged cheddar (or parmesan) grated on top 

A few sprigs of fresh parsley, thyme, and oregano


1. Rinse and halve the zucchini. Preheat oven to 400. Scoop out and chop the zucchini innards, add to already chopped zucchini.

2. Sauté up the onions, shallot, and garlic on medium for a few minutes, till onions soften up. Add poblano and zucchini, cook a few minutes more, add tomato, cook one more minute, stirring vigorously and season with spices, about 1/2 tsp each.

3. Let cool, stir in Quark cheese, then spoon into the zucchini shells and arrange on a cookie sheet. Cook for about 20 minutes, then turn the broiler on and broil until topping is browned.

I also used the very abundant amount of filling this made to stuff some poblano peppers, which was delicious, you could use bell peppers, or even tomatoes. Yum.

My Fucking Delicious Chimichurri Sauce

This is a really delicious, herb based sauce that is a great compliment to otherwise plain fish, chicken, or even steak. 

Chimichurri!

3/4 cup parsley
1/4 cup pregano
2 TB thyme
1 TB basil
1 TB chives or scallions
1/3 c olive oil
1 TB lime juice, or white wine vinegar
4-6 cloves garlic (depending on size, I used 2 giant ones!)
4 cherry tomatoes
1 small hot pepper of your choice (opt.)
 1/2 tsp paprika
salt and pepper to taste

Blend in food processor, blender or magic bullet. Eat. Orgasm.

Quinoa salad

Garden harvest, healthy eating quinoa salad!

2 cups cooked Quinoa
2 medium Tomatoes, fresh, diced
4 cloves Garlic
1/4 cup diced poblano, other hot peppers
2/3 cup coarsest chopped purslane, or spinach
2-4 sliced scallions
3-4 cloves garlic, chopped
Handful fresh basil
1 tsp Spanish paprika
Opt. 1/4 cup feta cheese

Dressing:
3 TB Olive oil
2 tsp balsamic vinegar or lemon
salt and pepper

Mix everything together. Stir in dressing

Alternately, sauté poblano, scallions, and garlic. Add purslane last.



In this crappy picture, the quinoa clump on the left is uncooked veggies, and the clump to the right is the one in which I sauteed the veggies before adding them.

Ugh, quinoa always photographs horribly, but OMG was this delicious. 

Popsicles! Peach, OJ, and mint

Adult popsicles actually. I've been rather obsessed with the idea of popsicles in general, but mainly *adult* popsicles. This is the first batch I am testing. Some recipes say you need some gelatin, others that you merely need to have the correct proportions. I, however, will be winging it based on what I had in the house. Here's what I did:

About a half cup frozen peaches
half cup orange juice
a bit less than half cup of mint simple syrup (recipe below)
oops almost forgot half a cup of peach flavored vodka

Blended it all in a blender. It fit exactly into two 2-pk containers of popsicles from Walmart (I know, I was ashamed too, but I couldn't bloody well find them at Target, or anywhere else for that matter). If you lack popsicle molds, you can make them in glasses, or other popsicle shaped containers. Just let them harden for a few hours, then stick the popsicle sticks (or other stick-like items) into the molds.

They did not want to come out of the molds! I ended up eating them with a fork. It was still real nice.

Cajun Andouille Potato Salad

I really love a good potato salad. But it can be kind of boring doing the same thing every time. I really love Cajun food, so this was a natural leap. Other variations I love are a mayo/sour cream sauced, kalamata onions, garlic and garlic scape affair, and a chipotle-lime-cilantro based potato salad. 

3 lbs potatoes, cut into potato salad sized pieces

2 TB olive oil
2 andouille or other smokey sausages, sliced into rounds

2 ribs celery, diced
1 small red onion, diced (opt if using the green onions)
6 cloves garlic, minced
1 lg poblano, minced
5 or so green onions, sliced (or just use red onions; I am partial to green)

1 TB cajun seasoning
1/2 tsp smoked paprika
salt and pepper

1/4 cup parsley

1/2 cup mayo
1 TB olive oil
1 TB creole mustard
1 TB apple cider or red wine vinegar
hot sauce, to taste

Cook potatoes, let cool. Brown the sausage in a pan on medium heat, add to potatoes to cool.

Assemble veggies and mix in a large bowl. Sprinkle with cajun seasoning, paprika, salt and pepper, parsley. Whisk together mayo and everything remaining. Add potatoes to bowl and finally the mayo mixture and stir until everything is mixed well.

Because I am terrible about taking pictures of my food, here is a picture of my cat being confused about how she got that bag around her neck.

Fourth of July menu!

Grilled Romaine, avocado, and corn salad
romaine
avocado
corn
dressing ingr.

Jerk Chicken!
scallions
lime
cloves
chicken

Cajun Andouille Potato Salad
scallions
bell peppers
celery
potatoes?

Cherry Tomato, arugula, chevre, orzo salad
cherry tomatoes
arugula
chevre
more orzo

Big ass steak with garlic, thyme, rosemary oil
Olive oil!

Edamame Spread

Block party Edamame Spread!
2 10 oz packages edamame, steamed or boiled according to packaged directions
5 cloves garlic
olive oil
lime juice
parsley
cilantro
paprika
chile powder

More precise measurements to come.

Teriyaki recipe

On the fly teriyaki:

1/4 cup soy sauce (low sodium)
1/4 cup sake
1 TB honey
1 TB brown sugar
1 inch section ginger (sub 1/2 tsp powdered ginger if absolutely necessary)
2 cloves garlic, minced
1/2 tsp sriracha
water as needed to thin

Cook on low heat for about 10-15 minutes, stirring often.

Alaina's easy tuna pasta salad

My beautiful friend Alaina whipped this up for me one day while we were having a book reading/crochet/tea drinking party and it was shockingly delicious and satisfying, considering how easy it was. 

1 can tuna
1-2 TB mayonnaise
1TB lemon juice
1/4 tsp dill weed
1 cup cavatappi pasta
Handful spring greens or other tasty lettuces
Splash of olive oil, and lemon juice
salt pepper

1. Boil water for the pasta and begin the noodles cooking. 
2. Mix tuna with mayo, lemon juice, and dill.
3. Drain the pasta and then toss it with tuna, serve atop lettuce. Drizzle lettuce with a tsp of olive oil and lemon juice if you wish.
4. Toss your delicious salad.

CRANBERRY CHUTNEY

Kombucha adult beverages!

Kombucha seems to be getting more and more popular these days. People like to say it has a great many health benefits, but these are the same people who are worried about Big Pharma and chemtrails, so I will believe it when I see the science. Until then, it tastes great, and if you don't want to shell out the dough (costs around 4 bucks just for a bottle) you can pretty easily brew it at home. I have some cookin' (so to speak) right now.

Anyway, this isn't a how-to. I'm more interested in how it tastes mixed with alcohol. So--in the name of science--I will be trying to make some mixed Kombucha drinks. I have some Guava Kombucha, some pineapple laced OJ, grapefruit juice, lime juice, and some other random mixers.

Drink # 1

No mixers
3 parts Kombucha
1 part vodka

Verdict:
Delicious. Maybe will get you too drunk, too fast: martini territory.

Drink # 2

2 part Kombucha
1 part vodka
1 part pineapple orange juice

Pretty delicious. Kind of lose the yummy taste of guava in the mix of flavors though.

Minted Pea Salad

Minted Pea Salad

2 cups frozen peas (or fresh, if you can have the patience for shelling)
2 TB olive oil
1 TB white wine vinegar, or lime juice
1 tsp dijon mustard
1 tsp sugar
1/4 cup mint, sliced

Boil peas for a few minutes, till softened. Or just let them thaw in warm water while you whisk together your dressing: the olive oil, vinegar, mustard and sugar. Add the mint, peas, dressing to a bowl, and mix all dat up.

Totally going to Riot Fest this September. Here are the bands I am most excited about:
Reverend Horton Heat
Gogol Bordello
NoFx
Descendents
Dropkick Murphys
Alkaline Trio
The Offspring
Elvis Costello
and GWAR!!!

Super Simple Summer drinks

Really Simple Easy Summer drinks to enjoy:

Vodka Tonic

2 oz vodka, or go with gin for a classic

Lime wedge

 6 oz tonic, soda, or other sparkling water type thing

Squeeze lime into vodka with ice, in a glass of some sort. Top with tonic.

Moscow Mule

2 oz vodka

1 TB lime juice

6 oz ginger beer

Ice

 Mix.

Greyhound 

(my very favorite drink)

2 oz vodka

Grapefruit juice

 Measure vodka into a pint glass. Fill it to about an inch from the top with grapefruit juice. Add ice if you like, but if you were keeping your vodka in the fridge, as is proper, then you shouldn't need to.

Dark and Stormy 

(a close second)

2 oz dark rum

3-4 oz ginger beer

1 lime wedge, or 1 tb lime juice (optional)

Ice

So damn good. This is my special occasion, fancy summer drink.

Jerk Marinade

Yes, there are a lot of ingredients. But if you've ever had lackluster jerk before, you will understand that this is very necessary. Not to brag (I say as I shamelessly toot my own horn) but I made this for my own birthday, and when my extraordinarily talented at baking friend brought his own less ingrediented version in a hilarious attempt to show me up, everyone agreed that mine were a million times better. Even him. Extremely grudgingly. Best b-day present ever. 

Jerk marinade

4 large cloves garlic
5 scallions, cut into 1/2 in pieces
2 habanero, 1/2 in pieces
1 inch piece of ginger, cut in half
2 TB fresh thyme
1 TB cilantro
2 TB white vinegar
2 TB orange juice
1 TB oil (canola or something light)
1 TB brown sugar
1-2 tsp soy sauce
1 tsp allspice
1 tsp salt
1/2 tsp pepper
opt: 1/4 tsp nutmeg
1/4 tsp cumin
1/8 tsp coriander
1/8 tsp cinnamon

Blend all dat shit up in a blender (or magic bullet, or food processor). Marinate at LEAST 1 hour, preferably overnight.

Also pictured, grilled romaine, corn and avocado salad, and Cajun andouille pasta salad.

Sweet potato, black bean, avocado failure tacos.

This hilarious not-really-a-failure-failure all this started as my attempt to make a dairy and gluten-free meal for my good friend's wedding potluck (they eloped and didn't really tell anyone: shotgun wedding style with a bun in the oven). I wanted to make a masa harina encrusted empanada type thing, involving the lovely potato and black bean mixture as a filling.

That worked out very poorly, as I am highly unskilled at dough-involving recipes. And we ended up with about ten just god-awful, bulgy, sad-looking "empanadas," reserving the remaining filling to serve with chips as a salsa. Later I decided it would have been tasty to just eat as tacos. Dammit.

Sweet potato and black bean, avocado tacos!

1 onion, minced
4 cloves garlic, minced
1 medium poblano, diced
1 plump roma tomato, diced
1 sweet potato, 1 inch cubes, roast in 350 oven for 15 minutes or so
1 can black beans
1-2 avocado, sliced


1. Saute onion in 1-2 TB canola or other light oil. Cook over a low heat for 5 minutes, add garlic, 30 seconds, add poblano and tomato and cook for 2 minutes longer.

2. Add potato chunks, stir till heated through, add beans, same deal. Season with paprika (like 1/2 tsp, duh) cumin, salt and pepper.

3. Serve with some crumbly white cheese like feta, the avocado slices, and corn tortillas.


Indian cilantro chutney:

1 bunch cilantro
4 scallions, 1 inch pieces
1 small green chile (about 1-2 TB or so)
1 tsp sugar
1 tsp cumin
1/2 tsp coriander
1/4 tsp paprika
pinch of salt
1 tsp soy sauce
1 whole lime, juice it
2-3 TB olive oil
(use some sriracha, or a super hot chile if you want it good and spicy)

BLEND in blender. 

Salsa con poblano, mango, corn e avocado

Roasted poblano, mango, avocado, corn salsa

1 large poblano (roast under broiler about 5-10 minutes, peel, mince)
1 jalapeno, diced
1 mango, peeled, 1/2 in dice
1-2 avocado cut into chunks
3 lg garlic cloves, minced
4 scallion, diced
1 lg tomato, diced
1 can corn, drained of corn liquids
1 lime, juice it
2 TB cilantro

Compile all these ingredients together and eat them!

Thieves Oil!

Thieves Oil (or vinegar) is something that I find both fascinating, and useful. My favorite combination! It also has a killer back story:

Back in plague times, so they say, there was a group of thieves, ranging anywhere from 4-7 in number. These particular thieves specialized in grave robbing, and would hit up the houses of plague victims in their zeal for loot. No one really tried to stop them at first, as it was thought they'd soon reap what they had sown. When years and years passed, and they got caught, the magistrate wanted to know their secret for survival, and supposedly bargained for a lesser sentence if they gave up their dirty little tricks. I believe it was actually thieves vinegar, an infusion of potent herbs in vinegar, that they gave the recipe for, as there was not a huge essential oil market in those days. Though, in some versions, it was actually an essential oil blend; one of the thieves worked in a perfume factory which is how they stumbled upon the revelation.


 Lydia's special thieves oil blend:

1 tsp clove
1 tsp lemon
1/2 + 1/8 tsp lavender
1/2 tsp eucalyptus
1/4 tsp rosemary
1/4 tsp tea tree
1/4 tsp cinnamon (optional)

Mix them in a glass container, and use when you are in crowded public places as a perfume, to ease congestion and headaches when you are sick with flu/cold, and whenever you feel you need a clear mind, or immunity boost!



http://mountainroseblog.com/thieves-oil/ has some great information as well!

http://www.secretofthieves.com/pdf/33WaysToUseThieves.pdf