Steak and eggs and salsa and zucchini fritters!

This amazing breakfast just kind of fell into my lap after an amazing, long, 4th of July weekend of grilling. I happened to have some peppers, tomatoes, and avocado leftover, as well as a few crappy steaks and some zucchini!

Zucchini fritters are pretty easy, but a bit time consuming. You have to grate the zucchini, let it dry out a bit somehow, and then pan fry it up a bit.

Grate your zucchini, I'd use about 2 medium ones to serve 4-6 people as a side dish and one egg. I used one small one and one egg which made more of a frittata fritter (which was still quite delicious, use one egg per zucchini if you want frittata fritters).

Sprinkle with salt and then place zucchini shards in a strainer type thing for 5-10 minutes. I used coffee filters but you could also squeeze it out more successfully (my filters ripped open a bit during the squeezening) with some cheesecloth. At the end, squeeze the shit out of it. You will likely notice quite a lot of water coming out.

Mix with one egg for every two medium zucchini, 1 TB flour per zucchini, and about 1/8th tsp salt, 1/8 tsp pepper. I added a crushed garlic clove, but that is up to you. Sometime I grate a TB or two of onion or shallot into the mix.

Then you just pan fry it up in a few TB oil, on medium heat, flipping after a couple minutes, when browned. Try not to flip too much. Just be patient. You can always do a tester to see about how long it takes to brown on each side. I usually just feel it out, and bigger dollops of the mixture will need to cook longer. I like to keep them smallish, a wee bit bigger than silver dollar pancake sized.

I served it with some leftover green goddess dressing and a simple tomato, poblano, garlic, green onion and avocado salsa. I may have added some fresh lime juice as well. Also the steak and eggs. Holy shit, what a nice breakfast.

Fairly Simple Elderberry Bitters

This is Pokeberry, a lovely but highly poisonous
plant. Don't make tinctures out of it.

Start with some tinctures:

1/4 cup elderberries
2 cups alcohol (vodka, moonshine, or even whiskey if you enjoy whiskey)


Infuse your elderberries by soaking them for 2-4 weeks in a glass container such as a large mason jar, or pickle jar, or whatever jar you can find!



1 cup alcohol
3 TB dandelion root

Soak this at the same time in another container.



After two weeks, or until you are satisfied with the taste strength, filter out your tinctures with cheesecloth, or a coffee filter, and mix together you bitters solution with this basic ratio:

1 part bittering agent (here the dandelion root)
1 part water
1/2 part simple syrup
4 parts liquor

Elderberry, Rose, and Dandelion Root Bitters

1 tablespoon rose petal/rose hips infusion (basically tea with 1 cup/1TB ratio)
2 teaspoons of elderberry simple syrup (equal parts sugar/water, and about half of one of those parts elderberries, simmered for 15-30 minutes on low heat)
3 tablespoons of the elderberry tincture
2 tablespoons of the dandelion tincture

Just play around. Taste every so often. Add things if you want, and I rarely ever measure unless to report my findings in a concrete way, so feel free to stay loose and do your own thang.

Helpful Hints: 

Bittering agents:
various citrus peels: lemon, lime, grapefruit,
wormwood
dandelion root
quassia
milk thistle

Other flavors could be any number of herbs or spices you can think up! Lemongrass, rose, cherries, cinnamon, clove, etc.

Some primarily floral bitters sound pretty cool too.  Had I had access to elderflowers, an elderflower/rose/lavender bitters would have been pretty fabulous.

I love the fabulous coded meaning of flowers. Roses mean different things depending on the color; dark pink (as mine were) evidently means "gratitude," elderflowers mean "compassion," while dandelions signify "coquetry." Gratitude, compassion, and coquetry. Yeah, that sounds about right.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Language_of_flowers

Baingan Bartha

Baingan Bartha is a super tasty Indian dish that is fairly easy to prepare, and a great way to use eggplant! If you think you don't like eggplant, try this. It's amaaaaazing. Serve with rice.


1 lg eggplant

Doesn't look so purty, but it tastes great!

2 TB oil
1 lg onion, minced
1 tsp brown mustard seeds
1 tomato, chopped
4 garlic, minced
1 inch ginger, minced
1 medium-large anaheim (milder) or 4-5 jalapenos (spicier), minced
1/3 cup cilantro, chopped
additional spices I'm going to add:
1/2 tsp garam masala
1/2 tsp coriander
1/2 tsp hungarian paprika
1/4 tsp salt or soy to taste

 1. Halve the eggplant lengthwise. Place, skin side up, on a greased cookie sheet, and broil on high about 4 inches away from flame for 15-30 minutes, until softened and skin is charred. Let cool and scoop out inner pulp to use later.
2. Saute onion and mustard seeds in some oil for about 3-4 minutes on medium high heat, stirring often, till softened.
3. Add pepper, cook about 4 more minutes, add tomato, cook a few more minutes, add garlic, garam masala, coriander, paprika and salt, cook for a few more minutes.
4. Mash in the eggplant, and stir in cilantro.
5. Serve with rice and/or naan.

Ended up being about 2 large servings or 4 smallish "what's-probably-an-actual-serving-size" portions. I like things pretty well spiced, so you can totally add another eggplant and not increase the other ingredients and it'll still be great, more than that (like 3 or 4 eggplants) and you'll want to double everything.

*modified from
http://www.rice-n-curry.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=55:baigan-bharta-north-indian-vegeterian&catid=9:weekdays&Itemid=14

Skin Care: honey oil makeup removal and apple cider vinegar toner

My garden

I love to make things from scratch. It's one of my very favorite things, and I take an almost sadistic pleasure in it. It's not because I think I'm saving the world, but stems more from a deep sense of penuriousness and lack of willingness to spend money unless totally necessary, or on an insane whim. It makes no sense. I'm really not a miser. It's not like I hoard money, though perhaps I would if I made more than what puts food on the table and covers rent each month. No, I attribute it to growing up with a diy-type single mom, somewhat poor.

So anyway, I really like to make shit myself, from brewing my own salves instead of neosporin, to infusing my own damn vodka with anything from herbs to fruits instead of buying preflavored ones like a schmuck. It's more fun that way.

A few things I haven't yet found it acceptable to concoct are actual diy shampoo, makeup and soap. I refuse to work with lye, and I'd rather just not wear makeup than go to the trouble of making my own. I have found a few good substitutes for shampoo (apple cider vinegar, or even beer), and for conditioning, there is the well-known mayo or avocado hair mask (banana and olive oil also widely used) but they aren't for everyone, and half the time I don't bother.

Something I've found to be amazing for my skin is the following routine and "recipes" it is based upon. I like to just use as much as I need each night, but you can make a batch of acv toner ahead of time if that works better, but it will only last a few weeks to a month, however.

1. Remove makeup with oil instead of whatever gross thing you've been using:

• Pour 1-2 tsp of oil (almond, avocado, grapeseed, even olive oil are great) in your palm
• Squirt in 1/2 tsp honey and mix
• Apply all over your face, especially places of great makeup congregation
• Either wipe with warm water and a washcloth, or just splash and rub your face with your hands to remove the oil

2.  Tone with apple cider vinegar toner:

• Mix 1 tablespoon filtered or distilled water (or even rose water) with 1 teaspoon apple cider vinegar and 5 drops of tea tree oil, lavender, and frankincense (optional*) in a little bowl
• Dip cotton balls, toilet paper, or even a washcloth or edge of a towel into the toner and rub around on your face! Or use a spray bottle and spritz. 

 Sometimes I even spot treat stubborn zits with 1/4 tsp acv, 1/4 tsp water and 5-10 drops tea tree oil, which would probably be too harsh for more sensitive skin. At first I spot treated with this and splashed water on my face to get some off so it wasn't so intense, but soon realized there wasn't much need for it, personally. Everyone's skin is different. 

*I would recommend investing in tea tree and lavender for skin care, as they are relatively cheap and super effective and wonderful. Tea tree helps combat acne and fungus, while lavender helps with elasticity and tone.

Astrology

"I know that astrology isn't a science... Of course it isn't. It's just an arbitrary set of rules like chess or tennis.... The rules just kind of got there. They don't make any kind of sense except in terms of themselves. But when you start to exercise those rules, all sorts of processes start to happen and you start to find out all sorts of stuff about people. In astrology the rules happen to be about stars and planets, but they could be about ducks and drakes for all the difference it would make. It's just a way of thinking about a problem which lets the shape of that problem begin to emerge. The more rules, the tinier the rules, the more arbitrary they are, the better. It's like throwing a handful of fine graphite dust on a piece of paper to see where the hidden indentations are. It lets you see the words that were written on the piece of paper above it that's now been taken away and hidden. The graphite's not important. It's just the means of revealing their indentations. So you see, astrology's nothing to do with astronomy. It's just to do with people thinking about people."

-Douglas Adams, Mostly Harmless, Harmony Books, 1992

Lemonade drinks

New drink ideas:

Pink lemonade. I am totally enamored of the bizarre libation that is pink lemonade. The one we are most familiar with comes frozen in a can, or perhaps out of a powdered packet. In my recipe perusings, I came across a number of recipes for "old fashioned" pink lemonades. Most of these involved cranberry juice, fresh lemon juice, and lots and lots of sugar.

I, of course, became deeply concerned with the origins of this titillating drink. According to good ol' Wikipedia, a variety of things are used to pinken your lemonade, including the juices of various red fruits (cherry, strawberry, raspberry, grapes, grapefruit, etc), grenadine, or artificial colorings. So a wide variety to choose from! But how did it start? Surely it didn't begin with the frozen cans? Was it originally made with cranberry juice as all those recipes suggested? Wiki has two bizarre attribution: some guy dropped his Red Hots into his lemonade by accident, and another dude allegedly, "used water dyed pink from a horse rider's red tights to make his lemonade." Ooook. So let's just pretend Julia Child's invented it by simply adding cranberry juice to lemonade. Problem solved. 

I also found a nice recipe on pinterest for a turquoise lemonade made with powdered lemonade mix, sugar, and blue raspberry Kool-Aid. It was kinda purty. Which got me to thinking, you need to add a bunch of sugar anyway to fresh lemon juice, so why not add Kool-Aid and make some lovely colored lemonades! It also reminded me of one of my favorite drinks as a youngster: lemonade and UV blue vodka.

Cupid can suck it

I’ve never been a huge fan of Valentine’s Day. Though I do love most holidays, mainly for the excuse to overindulge in food and drink in a hedonistic fashion, this one really stuck in my craw. Shouldn’t we appreciate our loved ones year round? It’s simple really. If you love someone, treat them well.  

Raised by an amazing and independent working lady--my strong single mom--I had always planned to make it on my own. And if I found love on the side, well so be it. Marriage? That was a sucker’s game. I didn’t need it.

But then I found someone I loved very deeply, and more importantly who didn’t bore me, even after 4 years together, cohabitating for the majority of that time. I was happy, and didn’t mind the idea of marriage anymore. Valentine’s Day became more exciting than depressing and I thought of fun, non-cliche ways to celebrate it: Bacontine’s Day for example. Maybe it was more romantic than I thought.

Imagine my surprise when he had other plans. Things had been kind of rocky since New Years when I discovered he had been getting back in touch with an ex-girlfriend and hiding it from me. We’d been bickering a lot too, though at the time I thought it was in an old married couple sort of way. So I wasn’t incredibly surprised when he broke up with me on Valentine’s Day, saying he just couldn’t see spending the rest of his life with me. Not surprised, just a little pissed at the timing. And heartbroken. Just when I thought I could get behind the whole V-day hoopla. Get bent, Cupid.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tn0PMCwIUxI

Enchilada Pasta

Enchilada Pasta!!

Holy shit is this good. One of my internet friends introduced me to this concept a while back, but most of the recipes call for canned enchilada sauce. Gross. No. So here’s how I do it.

I like to occasionally make my own sauces (enchilada, bolognese, etc) in large double batches and freeze some for later. But if you want, you can do it the boring way and use gross pre-made enchilada sauce, some chicken beef or pork, and cheese with your pasta. It just won’t taste as good.

In addition to the sauce and meats, you will need a bunch of pasta- about a box- and one cup of melty cheese!

Basic enchilada sauce

1 large onion, chopped
5-8 cloves garlic, minced
1 large bell pepper, diced
¼-1 cup of hot peppers, I like to use poblano and anaheims a lot as they are milder and bigger than many of the other widely available peppers (I’m looking at you, jalapenoes and fresnos!)
2-4 chipotle peppers (if you like spicy things, this is great! Otherwise omit)
1 28 oz can petite diced (or whatever) tomatoes
½ tsp cumin
1 TB chili powder
1 tsp paprika
1 tsp garlic powder
1 tsp onion powder
opt: 1 TB chile powder such as chilaca, ancho or cayenne for spice lovers
salt pepper

Saute the onion in a large saucepan until translucent, add garlic and peppers and saute on medium/low for a few minutes and then add the tomatoes and seasonings and turn the heat to high. When it starts to bubble, bring the burner to low and let it simmer for about a half hour.

Meanwhile, make your non sauce stuff. I have been enjoying ground beef, mushrooms, and corn as a nice addition, but you can use chicken, or pork, or even steak cut up into pieces. You could even just serve it on the side! Who cares! Isn’t it liberating? Make your pasta in this interim as well.

1 lb ground beef
8 oz container sliced mushrooms
1 15 oz can corn
1 TB chili powder
opt: several tablespoons salsa
4 scallions, sliced
(I always add more garlic as well, but you don’t have to)


Saute the beef and the mushrooms with some garlic and the scallions (if you are so inclined) until the beef is only a little pink. Add the chili powder and the corn. Add some salsa if you want, it’s all good. This can be as fancy or as threadbare as your pantry wishes. Now cook until the beef is no longer pink at all.

Mix it with the sauce stuff! You should’ve been cooking your pasta while all this was happening, but if not, do it now!

Now you just mix your pasta with enough sauce to make it delicious. Like a lot of sauce? Then use a bunch! Don’t like it super saucey? Don’t use so much sauce, stupid! Oh, and be sure to use some cheese. About 1 cup. I like to use a mix of shredded Mexican cheese and cream cheese.

Chipotle Chicken Salad!

I really have a deep and all-encompassing love of mayonnaise. It's shameful, really. I don't talk about it much. You may have noticed there are a lot of various "salad" recipes that in no way involve lettuce (except for that BLT pasta salad) on this blog: Pasta salad, potato salad, broccoli salad. And really the only unifying factor is the mayo. So I guess that's what they mean by "salad." Which I love. 

I don't really have a point there other than that mayonnaise is totally delicious. I blame my mom. I assume that's how she got me to eat steamed broccoli and artichokes as a kid, both of which I fondly recall accompanying meals. I don't really like sweet things, so mayonnaise and cheese are my main vices. I'm totally ok with that. This chipotle chicken salad is great, use enough chipotle and it gives you a lovely burn that the mayo quells in a beautiful, velvety way. If you don't like spicy stuff, you can use less but if there are two other things I couldn't imagine cooking without, it would be garlic and hot peppers, so this probably isn't the place for you anyway. 

Chipotle chicken salad: simple and delicious


2 cups cooked chicken, cubed or shredded as you see fit
1/2 cup mayo (maybe more)
1/4 cup sour cream or Greek yogurt
3 chipotle peppers in adobo and 1-3 tsp adobo sauce
5 scallions, sliced 
2-3 cloves garlic, minced
juices of half a lime
1 TB cilantro, chopped
dash salt and pepper

Mix it all together and enjoy the spicy deliciousness. If you do not enjoy spicy foods, don't make this!

Modifications:
Replace chipotle with 2-3 TB buffalo sauce, add 1/4 cup blue cheese crumbled, and 1 stalk diced celery for buffalo "wing" salad!