Why I hate anything that involves the word detox, without the additional words: drug test.

Detox Popsicles

I honestly have no idea why we fatass Americans seem to be so incredibly angered by the very concept of low-fat or healthy eating, but seem strangely attracted to the extremely scientifically *unverified* concepts behind detoxing. Or enemas, or homeopathic whatever.  On the one hand, I totally get it. We're pissed off at decades of prepackaged food, medication at the drop of a hat, and all the dumb, plastic Westernized quick-fixes and consumerist bullshit. Yeah, it sucks. But so do charlatans and snake-oil salesmen.

And that is precisely what these detox, enema, and homeopathic purveyors are made of. The fad of detox bullshit stems from a fundamental misunderstanding of how the human body works, and how the liver and kidneys function. (Hint: they are the body's "organic" detox systems, you fucking ignorant asshole.)

One comment from quackwatch.org really stuck with me all these years, it was something to the effect of,  "If the human body were truly incapable of ridding itself of harmful wastes, humans would have gone extinct a very long time ago."

http://www.quackwatch.org/01QuackeryRelatedTopics/detox_overview.html

That's a nice, succinct read on why these things are bullshit. But honestly, these all stem from a misuse of the word toxin, and a fundamental belief in human stupidity. There's a large difference between a heroin or alcohol addict going through detox, and what you think you're doing by drinking strawberry lemon kale smoothies. One involves shaking uncontrollably, vomiting, and shitting yourself. The other involves massive amounts of self-delusion and gullibility.

Honestly, some of these detox ideas, like the fruit filled smoothies, or the diets that promote taking a few days or weeks to eat more fruits and veggies, drink more water, and limit sugar, dairy and sodium are not bad to do! My gripe is that they are promoted as ridding the body of toxins and shit. Yes, you're going to feel better. Yes it is good for you. But it is something that should be promoted as an essential part of a healthy lifestyle that we should be doing anyway, dammit. Not doing for a few days every once in a while to cure myriad ailments that probably wouldn't be occurring if you ate that way all the damn time.