Well today is miserable. Hopefully I get a call soon about a seasonal and awesome job. Hancher is being relocated in various ways and Ashley knew someone in charge of it who was looking for people to help. Sadly she has a full crew currently but if some girl goes out of town, well that'd just be fabulous for me. It's not boring stuff either! Fortunately it would be moving drama costumes and the like so that'd be fun, though I'd probably be verrrry tempted to steal something or other.

I'm very worried about the weather and feel I may have jumped the gun in putting my peppers and tomatoes into the ground. All this cold rain can't be good for them. I also appear to have some sink holes on the garden, luckily it's only around the flowers but that still sucks 'cause I want a ton of goddamn flowers this year! Saturday night it's supposed to get down to the mid 30's so I'm going to have to put some old sheet down around the pep.s and tom.s, or maybe cardboard boxes, and bring in all the stuff I have in the pots. Later I'll type up an easy, cheap and lazy recipe that my boy roomie likes to cook. He likes tex-mex a lot.

**BBQ TIME!!!**

I can't believe the ignorant comments denying that carbs are the cause of many people being fat. Seriously, have you picked up the hundreds of well-researched books available on the topic? Someone who eats a 500 calorie piece of cake is going to be hungrier a LOT sooner than someone eating a 500 calorie piece of meat. Breads are empty calories that lead you to eat more and more. Were your ancestors fat? I doubt they ate white rice and white bread and cupcakes and cupcakes and french fries all day. They lived off the land and ate meat and vegetables.

Susie T. 

Commenting about an already stupid article, 'Dieter's Guide to BBQ survival."

http://food.yahoo.com/blog/hungrygirl/29417/dieter-s-guide-to-bbq-survival;_ylt=ArnxbJldmSZ6t_3OH4DaSmdmY.Y5

"The average person attending a Memorial Day BBQ will consume at least one beer, a hot dog, a burger, chips, coleslaw, potato salad and dessert," Dieter's survival guide claims. 

I say to that: gross, boring, and really, like who? I mean, I guess I'm mostly surprised by the banal types of food, I mean c'mon: a burger, hot dog, potato salad, chips AND dessert? And AT LEAST that much? They go on to note "two BBQ shockers!" The shockingly high fat foods they revealed to us were...badadadadadadadada: fried chicken and potato salad. Reeeeaaaalllly. I, for one, am shocked that something fried and something drowning in mayonnaise is high in fat or calories. That's just crazy talk. 

Where did all my posts go? Mr. Krinkles

Mr. Krinkles knew this moment might very well make or break his career. Haphazardly, he strapped on his helmet. He picked up his unicycle and confidently strode to the ring of death. The stench hung heavy in the air, blood splatters on the concrete shimmered like a beacon of false hope. Mr. Krinkles took his position. With determination he mounted the Iron Fury, his trusty unicycle. He glared across the ring at his opponent, Furious George. George paused a moment to pick some gnats out of a young fan's hair. Mr. Krinkles' simian eyes blazed with untapped rage. Mr. Krinkles felt his mouth grow dry, his muscles tightened in anticipation. The whistle blew and his furry feet pedaled furiously. Furious George came at him quicker than anticipated but Mr. Krinkles was agile and dodged his first attack.
Figure out your opponent, strike their weak link. Mr. Krinkles knew the rules of primacycling, but Furious George seemed undefeatable. George again moved in for the kill and Mr. Krinkles darted out of the way. Fans screamed on the sidelines, they knew this was the fight of the century. Would youth and stamina or age and wisdom prevail? In primacycling, the point of the game is to either wound your opponent with your knife helmet so that they can no longer stay on their unicycle, or force them out of the ring. Furious George went for bloodshed while Mr. Krinkles, more noble, preferred to force them out of the ring.
For several rounds this continued, the attack and avoid. Neither seemed to be gaining any ground, and neither seemed to be tiring out. Then it happened. As George attempted to slice into Mr. Krinkles, he misjudged and rolled out to the very edge of the ring. Mr. Krinkles, delighted, flew over to his side and attempted to crowd him out. George was precariously balanced, about to go over the edge when, in desperation, he began stabbing randomly in Mr. Krinkles' direction. The blade of the knife sliced across Mr. Krinkles' forearm. This one move was his undoing. Mr. Krinkles wheeled backward, howling in pain. George, now filled with blood lust, charged forward. He was aiming for the throat.
Mr. Krinkles was through playing around. Never before had he intentionally attempted to seriously injure another primate; this time it was personal. Head down, he charged Furious George. The two collided in a spectacular cacophony of fur and blood. George flew backward from his unicycle, loudly hitting the concrete. Mr. Krinkles, although wounded, managed to stay on his unicycle. A referee ran over and held his arm triumphantly in the air. Relief washed over Mr. Krinkles; he had defeated the young whirlwind. As he shouted his his final yell of triumph, the world grew dim, everyone around him swirled into darkness. 

My Mission Statement (kinda sorta)

Hah! Since I have such a hilariously shitty food blog (I reeeaallly need to get to work on getting some damn pictures taken of food I cook--jeez--is it really that hard?) that it's very fortuitous to have no one who actually reads this blog.

But, here we go. Let's talk about who I am and what I do. My name's Lyndsey and I grew up in Hawaii, Michigan, Iowa and California, which led to my varied culinary loves and styles. From hearty Midwestern comfort fare to taste explosions inspired by my Japanese and Hawaiian family members: Ono style. I favor bold spicy foods, and made-from-scratch, fresh from the garden cooking. I also love crafting and making all sorts of non-food items. 

I love cooking and tweaking recipes so they adhere to my standards of flavor and nutritional content. However, I also very much believe that food fear mongering and absolutes (i.e. miracle foods, outrageous health claims, this is so bad for you/this is so good for you, yada yada yada) are unhealthy and lead to significant culinary confusion amongst those not fortunate enough to have the time, money, or education/history to know how to cook, grow food, or balance a nutritious diet. 

I do not like fad diets, pseudoscientific claims, or detox/toxin language, but I DO believe in pharmacognosy where we study and utilize the power of plants in order to simplify our lives and get back to our roots, before technology complicated things and gave us all depression/anxiety. I do not idolize these concepts, it is just how I like to live my life, and if others are interested, great! I hate selling people stuff, so you won't see much advertising or bs fluff. I just aim to represent myself, my lifestyle, and my beliefs in good living, and self-love. 

I like to disrupt our capitalistic culture and obsession with money by creating as much as I am able, and minimizing my daily needs. I am lucky enough to live in a weird small college town where there is a predictable amount of waste during move out time. Perfectly good, clean (often brand new) furniture, electronics, books, school supplies, even unopened, fresh food stuffs, which I often pass around my community to folks who want it and don't care that it didn't come from the store.

I like to garden in a sustainable way that encourages foraging and allowing local prairie plants to take over. I strike a delicate balance between my vision and just letting weeds get out of hand. Speaking of weeds, I LOVE them! Some more than others, and especially the edible, local, and bee/butterfly attracting ones. 

My basic beliefs: grow your own food, and get as much as you can locally. Do some foraging, but be aware of where you are foraging! I don't gaf about organic, but if you want to do that, go for it. 

Buy as little as you absolutely have to. Have clothing swaps with friends, go to thrift stores. Don't be afraid to dumpster dive. 

Jerk Marinade and Sadness

Well, this year was round three in shittiest b-days ever. It was a little bit more good than bad--moreso than the others at least. Last year consisted of me and Dustin having 3 finals on my Monday birthday. Also, graduation was a few days after that, so that instead of celebrating my b-day on the weekend, I got to attend my b/f and friends' grad ceremony. Ya know the one I should have been in, but instead am never going to graduate because of MATH, yeah that one.

So I was incredibly depressed and had to force myself to appear happy for others, when deep down I was resenting every single one of them with a burning fury. Uggh. This year, no one is in town to celebrate with me as everyone has long since graduated and moved away, my b/f has a grown-up job now and it was his first 8-5 week, so he can't party with me, and the one friend I do have spent her time ignoring me and refusing to come out with me for the dance parties that surrounded my gloriously depressing day o' birth, aaaaand then left town for the weekend. Nice. Anyway, several days before that wretched, cursed day, I was able to have a pretty nice bbq and drinking sesh with a few friends. Here is what it entailed:

Veggies marinated in Newman's Italian dressing (thanks, Carolyn):

yellow squash

zucchini

mushrooms

bell peppers (red and green)

Meats:

chicken breasts in jerk marinade

Hyvee teriyaki marinated steak

Jerk Marinade:

3 green onions

3 cloves garlic

2-4 habeneros (I used 1 jalepeno and it was not even remotely spicy)

6 TB olive oil

1 whole lime, juiced

1/4 cup fresh minced thyme

1 tsp allspice

2 tsp dry mustard

1 tsp paprika

1 tsp chili powder

1 tsp cumin

salt and pepper

Opt. 1 mango, chopped up

Place green onions, garlic, habaneros, mango and spices into the blender, mix thoroughly and add lime juice and mix again, add olive oil in a thin, steady stream (or scrape onion, pepper mixture out of blender and whisk in the olive oil. Let chicken sit for about a half hour- an hour and then toss onto a hot grill.

I would like to note that I did not approve of marinating the veggies with italian dressing. Many hail the italian dressing marinade as an easy and delicious alternative to making their own marinade but like many "quick and easy" food stuffs, I find this both unecessarily lazy, and disgusting. I mean cum on, it's only tossing together some oil and acid and maybe a few spices. Honestly, I only allowed it because my friend was bringing over a bunch of veggies, and when she offered to bring the dressing, I felt it would be in poor taste to tell her that she disgusts me.

I'm actually kind of glad it happened because it'd been a while since I'd been forced to consume the hated marinade, and thus decided to give it a chance, especially since it was Newman dressing. I was sadly proved right, as so often happens; it was pretty gross and sort of ruined the vegetables for me.

***Somewhat authentic enchiladas (need tested and worked on)***

Real enchiladas!!

Sauce:

3-4 guajillo chiles, stemmed, deseeded and softened in boiling water for 12 minutes

1/2 cup chile water

2 cloves garlic

1 onion wedge (opt)

1 TB olive oil

*maybe 4 oz tomato sauce?

*also chix broth? 1 cup or so?

'Merican Enchiladas and quinoa and beans!

Update: I actually have many enchilada variations and will post more about them in the future. This is a bit dated, but still fun. If you really want to do it America style, just use a can of enchilada sauce (which I am--for the record--very much against) and then just saute up your ground beef with some onions if you want to be fancy, and some chili powder. Awwww yeah.


American Style Enchiladas:

Sauce:
1 small (6-10 oz) can jalapeno sauce (or two small cans diced green chilies)
12 oz can diced tomatoes
1/2 can tomato paste

Enchiladas:
1 small onion
2 cloves garlic
1 small zucchini (opt. but tasty!)
1/2 can tomato paste
1 lb beef
1-2 tsp mild or hot chili powder
1/2-1 tsp cumin
1/2 tsp garlic powder
1/4 tsp onion powder

1/4 tsp chile powder (ancho, chilacate etc.- or cayenne if nothing else is available)

1/2-1 cup monterey jack, cotija or even feta!
10 tortillas

1. Simmer sauce ingredients in a sauce pan for about 15-20 minutes, meanwhile saute onions in a large pan. After a few minutes add garlic and zucchini, stir around for two more minutes, add ground beef and spices. Cook on medium until beef is cooked through, about 4-5 minutes.

2. Roll tortillas around the beef filling and top with the sauce and then cheese.

Cook in 325 oven for 25-30 minutes.

Meanwhile, make your quinoa and beans:

1 small onion
2-3 cloves garlic
1 bell pepper
1 can black beans
1 cup quinoa
1 1/2 cup water

1. Saute onions, peppers and garlic for several minutes, till softened. Add quinoa and water. Heat to a boil and then cover, simmer for 12 minutes. Add beans and 1/2 cup of bean juices, cook till all water is absorbed. Garnish with feta cheese (opt.) and lime wedges.

Quinoa and Black Beans:
1 TB olive oil
1 small onion
2-3 cloves garlic
1 bell pepper
1 poblano
1 large carrot
1 teaspoon paprika
1/2 teaspoon cumin
1/4 teaspoon ancho or other chile powder (sub 1 teaspoon chili powder if so inclined)
1 TB soy sauce
2 TB olive oil
2 teaspoons lime juice (sub apple cider vinegar)
1 cup quinoa
2 cup water
1 can black beans

1. Slice veggies and pour quinoa and water into a small saucepan with lid. Heat on high, covered, till boiling. Reduce heat and simmer for 10-12 minutes before turning off the heat and letting sit till everything else is done.

2. Saute veggies in heated olive oil. Add spices, stirring for about 10-15 minutes, till onions and everything else is softened and starting to brown.

3. Quinoa should be ready, add drained black beans and mix thoroughly, add veggies and cover. Let sit on very low heat for about 4 minutes while you mix together the soy, olive oil and lime juice.

4. Turn off heat and mix in the dressing. Garnish with lime wedges and feta (if desired) add more soy, sriracha, fresh garlic or herbs of choice to taste! CIlantro, parsley, savory and lemon balm are good places to start.