"I frankly don't give a fuck how it all turns out in this country - or anywhere else, for that matter. I think the human game was up a long time ago (when the high priests and traders took over), and now we're just playing out the string. And that is, of course, precisely what I find so amusing: the slow circling of the drain by a once promising species, and the sappy, ever-more-desperate belief in this country that there is actually some sort of "American Dream," which has merely been misplaced.

The decay and disintegration of this culture is astonishingly amusing if you are emotionally detached from it. I have always viewed it from a safe distance, knowing I don't belong; it doesn't include me, and it never has. No matter how you care to define it, I do not indentify with the local group. Planet, species, race, nation, state, religion, party, union, club, association, neighborhood, improvement committee; I have no interest in any of it. I love and treasure individuals as I meet them, I loathe and despise the groups they identify with and belong to.

So, if you read something in this book that sounds like advocacy of a particular political point of view, please reject the notion. My interest in "issues" is merely to point out how badly we're doing, not to suggest a way we might do better. Don't confuse me with those who cling to hope. I enjoy describing how things are, I have no interest in how they "ought to be." And I certainly have no interest in fixing them. I sincerely believe that if you think there's a solution, you're part of the problem. My motto: Fuck Hope!

...I am a pesonal optomist but skeptic about all else. What may sound to some like anger is really nothing more than sympathetic contempt. I view my species with a combination of wonder and pity, and I root for it's destruction. And please don't confuse my point of view with cynicism; the real cynics are the ones who tell you everything's gonna be all right." -George Carlin

Kalbi and bulgogi

I was born in Hawaii (which is much sadder than it sounds when your mom moves you up to Michigan when you're 5 and you just have occasional visits to Dad down there to tease you with before you head back to the dismal wintery nightmare that is the mainland), so I grew up eating a much more varied and seafood heavy diet than most of my Midwestern friends and loved ones. There is nothing I love more than changing someone's mind about seafood when they think they hate it because they've only experienced poorly prepared bullshit.

Anyhoo, as a result, I find any day in which I don't eat something rice, ginger, garlic, chile, or soy based to be a depressingly wasted sham of a day. I am more partial to Korean, Vietnamese, Japanese and Thai cooking than French, new American, or even my beloved Italian. My family holiday meals often feature things like jook, fried rice, various kinds of kimchi, or like last years delicious kalbi (or galbi) and cuke kimchi.

Kalbi/galbi guide 

marinade:
1/3 cup soy sauce
1 TB water
1 1/2 TB sesame oil
1-2 TB brown sugar (I like things less sweet, which is very un-American of me)
2 TB garlic, minced
2 TB ginger, minced

meats:
for 1-2 lbs korean style short ribs
or you can make bulgogi with pretty much any cut of beef that would get thinly sliced

finish:
garnish: green onions and sesame seeds
serve with rice and bibb lettuce to wrap (or kimchi and tortillas to make the best fucking fusion tacos ever!



Whisk together soy sauce, water, sesame oil, and brown sugar until well combined. Add garlic and ginger and marinate in a large freezer bag, or some sort of large bowl for 4 hours-overnight.

It's more traditional to grill this, but as I lack an indoor grill, I usually just broil/bake it. I tend to cook by look and feel, but it usually takes about 30-40 minutes in the 350 oven, and often I will broil for the last 5 minutes. 

You can pan sear it in a cast iron, but this is kind of a pain if you have a lot of meat to cook, so I think oven is the best way to go, but if you are doing thinly sliced beef bulgogi, you might want to cast iron it on med-high heat until cooked through, about 5-15 minutes, depending on the thickness of your beef.

Scatter plenty of green onions and sesame seeds on top and serve with rice and lettuce to wrap with if desired.

Kal bi and BBQ sauce recipes

It's that magical time of year again, when the park renovation across the street from your yard-less house continues to ruin your fall (as it had your summer) and you finally say fuck it and have an indoor BBQ/potluck while gazing jealously at the sun streaming though the vibrantly colored autumn foliage.

Ahhhh fall, paving the way for the boring, lifelessness of winter. Soon it'll be time for hearty, root veggie based comfort foods, but for now we still have a few fresh, seasonal vegetation to choose from at the Farmer's Market.

In honor of my lack of park grilling this season, I'm making some kal bi style ribs, and some BBQ sauces, ya know, just to have lying around. Hurray!

Hopefully Spicy Kal Bi:

1/2 c brown sugar
1/2 c soy sauce
maybe try 2 TB Sprite
2 TB sweet white wine, like a moscato or riesling
1/2 small onion, finely grated
2 TB garlic, minced
2 TB ginger, minced
2 TB sesame oil
3 green onions (optional)
1 TB sriracha or chili sauce

Mix all this together and use to marinate 2 lbs of ribs (quality counts here, but I'm being lazy, and making some boneless country pork ribs, oh well) at least and hour, preferably overnight. Grill, or boil and bake.


BBQ sauces! Whoops, left those downstairs. Soon to come.

Mixed paella for fun times with friends

Mixed Paella:

2 TB olive oil
1 medium onion, diced
1 bell pepper, diced
1 jalapeno, diced
3 large ripe tomatoes (about 1 can diced tomatoes)
5 cloves garlic, minced
1 TB fresh thyme (1 tsp dried)
pinch of saffron*

1/2 lb chicken thighs (or breast if you insist)
2 kielbasa or andouille sausage
1/4-1/2 lb shrimp

2 cups rice
5 cups chicken or fish stock
3/4 cup frozen peas
1/2 lemon
2 TB parsley

Brown up the meats in a large wok or soup pan in a 1 TB of oil. Remove to an alternate container until later. Saute peppers, onion, tomato in remaining olive oil till softened, 5-10 minutes. Add garlic, thyme and saffron.

Return the meats to the pan and stir well for about a minute and then add the rice and stir for a few minutes, until rice is moist and wonderful.

Add stock and peas and bring to a boil. Lower to a simmer on lowish medium and leave alone for about 20 minutes. Feel free to check on it periodically, but you don't really need to stir it.

Garnish with lemon and parsley.

chicken broccoli rice casserole

It's starting to get chilly again, something which vexes me greatly, and that means it is time for preparation for the greatest of holidays, as well as hearty, comfort food cookery. Also crocheting. As much as I loathe the winter, at least I have all this to comfort me. Also a banging broccoli, cheesy chicken casserole I plan to make tonight. Hurray!

I'll probably use this basic recipe (with some major modifications)

Swiss Chard

Swiss Chard Patties.

Cook swiss chard, chop up. Mix with egg, some cheeseof some sort and seasonings. Chill briefly, roll in breadcrumbs. Fry about 5 min(?) each side.

One recipe involved quinoa!

Chicken (or pork or beef or lamb) spiedies

Spiedies are something I stumbled upon in one of my random internet food tears that I haven't, admittedly, had IRL. Largely because I have never been to the East Coast, which is somewhat shameful. Anyway, they sounded delicious and lovely so I looked over several recipes and perused several glowing first hand accounts of what they involved and tasted like and cobbled this together. So, I don't really know if they actually taste like actual Spiedies, but I really liked it, as just a nice herbed chicken (or lamb or pork or beef).


1/4 cup olive oil
2 TB lemon juice
2 TB cider vinegar
2 garlic cloves, finely chopped
1 tablespoon dried parsley
1 tablespoon dried mint (sometimes I use fresh instead and it's great too)
1/2 teaspoon dried oregano
1/2 teaspoon dried basil
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon cracked black pepper

This marinade would be good for about 1 lb of 1 inch chicken (or lamb or pork or beef) pieces which you can either broil, bake or grill. Grilling is preferred for authenticity. Serve on soft Italian bread and save some of the marinade to drizzle on top, if desired.

The basil may have actually been lemon balm, and I added 1/4 celery seed- and no damned parsley. I'll wait till summer to try that. It was good though.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spiedie

Amazing delicious white pork chili

I actually found the basis for this one in a spice ad, maybe Hormel. Despite that, there was not nearly enough pizzazz, so I added a bunch of spices. I think they only had cumin and paprika.

White Pork Chile 

1 lb pork, cut into 1 inch cube

1 onion, diced
1 poblano, diced
1 anaheim, diced
4 cloves garlic, minced
1 can chicken broth
1 can white beans
1-2 TB masa harina

Spices:
1 tsp smoked paprika
1 tsp paprika
1 tsp chile de arbol (or other great pepper) powder
1 tsp chili powder
1 tsp guajillo chile, chopped up into flakes
1 tsp garlic
1 tsp onion
1 tsp cumin
1/2 tsp thyme

Mix up spices, rub pork with spice mix, use enough to cover pretty well, add a tsp or so more into the chili, if there's any left.

Brown pork in 2 batches in a large, heavy skillet w/ 1 TB canola oil, set aside till later.

Add onions to skillet, cook 5 minutes or so, add garlic, add peppers and cook for about 2 more minutes, add seasonings, stir till heated. Add pork chunks, stir and add beans and broth. Bring to a boil. Simmer 15-20 minutes.

************Fancy lady spa night body stuff!

Things I need to do in the cold winter months.
Full body:
Epsom salt, lavender, and lemongrass bath.

Hair:
Coconut oil, honey, and mint essential oil

Face:
Apple cider vinegar and tea tree oil atringent toner

Avocado or banana face masks